Loving, forgiving and trusting someone…
Why is it that when you have it, you don’t treasure it? And when you don’t have it, you want it badly?
I can’t blame anyone. I have only myself to blame. I could not give the excitement or love you need. I did not give you enough trust. I have hurt you more than you could accept. In return, I got what I deserved. We both have our problems and we should not give any more excuses to justify our actions.
Forgiving me is difficult since I have disappointed you more than enough. You have been hurt enough to deem me as disposable and have move on. I lacked patience and romance that you seek. You are not wrong to say that I trapped and suffocated you enough. I have given you enough pain and hurt to let your tears flow. I can’t keep you entertained and communicate with you properly. I shouldn’t even called you and asked you to think about it anymore. You are right to do what you want and I shouldn’t stop you since I’m no longer your bf. Maybe what you need now is more of a bf than a husband material guy and I just dunno how to fit in that category.
Forgiving you is difficult because of the pain i received on that day and to hear that somethings may happen in the future makes me even more less trustful. I won’t say I will ever forget that matter but trust that I will be ok with time and the trust will come back. Love and happiness will conquer that pain I believe.
Trust is a hard thing to gain for the both of us. But with time, we will learn to trust again, be it you n me or with someone else.
Loving someone is wanting him/her to be happy. You have felt less with me and i guess the love we had is gone. And it is time for you to move on. My effort were abit too late and i totally agree with you. I believed that you were right all along and i was fan jian to treat you the way i did and still want you back. I should learn to let go when you give me you answer. I won’t hope for anything more and i won’t bother you anymore. We should not keep each other suffering at our hands if we are not holding them tgt and walking ahead.
I know we can’t see the future 1 or 2 yrs down the road but i was hoping to see us walking side by side towards a common goal/future.
Futile ramblings, irrational thoughts and excuses for myself. So much to say, so little words to express. Perhaps my heart is not stone cold enough to forget you or the yearning to hear and see you.
