The admin officers were pushing blame all over due to the shortage of packet drink on stock for the upcoming workshops and seminars. One (A) was complaining of the other (B) of not coming up with the list of things to order earlier. B was complaining that that colleague never inform her that she would be needing the drinks and using her stock. Den the ball went back to A saying she was waiting for B to come up with the list.

Lol. I find it funny when A came to the GO and kept going ‘他都没有跟我讲! 他都没有跟我讲! Use my stock also nvr inform me. How I know she will be using my stock?”

I don’t know what to think of this. It can be solved by just ordering the drinks now and adding on more orders later. Just solve the pressing matter than rather just saying very busy very busy no time to do.

Make my morning a noisy one yet funny…

When going shopping, instead of shopping for myself, acc her to look for her stuff.
That just to think about her turns me happy and sad at the same time.

It is to ALWAYS wonder about her.

But that person doesn’t appear just because I am thinking about her.
I’m always worried over if she will be thinking about me.
And as I am always thinking or trying to talk to her, I worry that I would bother her when she out and if she thinks I’m a bore.

Can’t help but feel sad at the things I’m doing wrong and also the things I worry about. Even guys have tears that will flow. How do we make things better after everything has happened? How do we build up the trust between us again?

…….

Something I failed terribly at.

Realised that you had far better smiles last time compared to now…

I can’t blame anyone. I have only myself to blame. I could not give the excitement or love you need. I did not give you enough trust. I have hurt you more than you could accept. In return, I got what I deserved. We both have our problems and we should not give any more excuses to justify our actions.

Forgiving me is difficult since I have disappointed you more than enough. You have been hurt enough to deem me as disposable and have move on. I lacked patience and romance that you seek. You are not wrong to say that I trapped and suffocated you enough. I have given you enough pain and hurt to let your tears flow. I can’t keep you entertained and communicate with you properly. I shouldn’t even called you and asked you to think about it anymore. You are right to do what you want and I shouldn’t stop you since I’m no longer your bf. Maybe what you need now is more of a bf than a husband material guy and I just dunno how to fit in that category.

Forgiving you is difficult because of the pain i received on that day and to hear that somethings may happen in the future makes me even more less trustful. I won’t say I will ever forget that matter but trust that I will be ok with time and the trust will come back. Love and happiness will conquer that pain I believe.

Trust is a hard thing to gain for the both of us. But with time, we will learn to trust again, be it you n me or with someone else.

Loving someone is wanting him/her to be happy. You have felt less with me and i guess the love we had is gone. And it is time for you to move on. My effort were abit too late and i totally agree with you. I believed that you were right all along and i was fan jian to treat you the way i did and still want you back. I should learn to let go when you give me you answer. I won’t hope for anything more and i won’t bother you anymore. We should not keep each other suffering at our hands if we are not holding them tgt and walking ahead.

I know we can’t see the future 1 or 2 yrs down the road but i was hoping to see us walking side by side towards a common goal/future.

Futile ramblings, irrational thoughts and excuses for myself. So much to say, so little words to express. Perhaps my heart is not stone cold enough to forget you or the yearning to hear and see you.